I'm Moving!

I'm moving. Unfortunately I am not having a garage sale before I move, so you will be unable to buy cheap tacky crap that you will one day sell at a garage sale.

Anyway, here's my new url: http://jabberwocky-jessica.tumblr.com/

Please change all blogroll links accordingly and I hope to read your comments on my new blog!


I'm On My Way To Me'ah She'arim

While in Israel I had an idea for a t-shirt. After hearing that some chassidish guy in Me'ah She'arim tried to beat up my brother-in-law because he and my sister-in-law were holding hands I was inspired to come up with this t-shirt:

I Got Stoned in Me'ah She'arim...
... and all I got was this blood stained t-shirt.

Blue Fringes' Flippin Out

'Good Omens' by Neil Gaiman

I finally finished my 'G' book. I have technically been reading this book since April. Between final papers, finals, morning sickness and then skipping town I put off finishing this book. I'd have to say that although I can barely remember what the first 3/4 of the book were about, I do remember enjoying them. I also enjoyed the last 1/4 of the book, but as a whole I had a lot of trouble with the book. Whenever there is more that 4 main characters that I have to pay attention to I get confused. Undiagnosed learning disability? Maybe. Attention span of a crack baby? More likely. If you're looking for a good story, this book definitely has it. But if you're like me, I'd say skip this book and find one with less characters to focus on so you don't have to keep saying to yourself, "Wait... who's that?"

As usual you can read all of my ABC book reviews at my website under the "ABC" link at the bottom of the page.


I Might Just Get Up and Dance or Buy Some Acid-Wash Pants

My last semester in college starts this coming Wednesday -- well, technically Thursday for me, since I don't have class on Wednesday. I always get excited for the new semester. Even though I know about two weeks in I'm going to start counting down the days until the semester is over, it's always fun finding out what books I need, what the requirements for each class are, etc. This semester though, I am especially psyched because I know that the sooner this semester starts, the sooner it is over. The sooner the semester is over, the sooner Corey and I are out of New York (and are parents!!!!!!!!). Whether I'm waiting for the semester to end or begin is not really the point of this post though. I always feel like the beginning of a new semester is a good time to make "New Years resolutions". In no particular order, here are some of the things I hope to accomplish over the next few months.

+Start davening again -- I used to daven shacharis every morning. I was even davening mincha and maariv for a while, but that was mostly because Corey was a gabbai and I just happened to be with him during davening times. I didn't lose faith in davening or anything like that. I just got lazy. But Corey bought this beautiful green siddur in Israel so I'm going to put it to good use -- that is not the only reason I want to start davening again. I'm going to start off slowly; just brachos and shmoneh esrei -- I have the attention span of a- I like candy. Um, what?

+ Master at least 5 new (mostly healthy) recipes. Corey and I have decided to get as healthy as we can be for the new baby. I'm not allowed to exercise or go on a diet, but I am allowed to eat more healthily (actually, I am strongly encouraged to eat more healthily) and, unfortunately, most of my go-to recipes aren't exactly the healthy type. If anyone has any good and healthy recipes please send them my way!

+Keep the apartment clean. For two people living in a nicely sized one-bedroom apartment, Corey and I sure do make a mess quickly. For example, right now I am sitting in the living/dining room. All the surfaces are covered with books, plastic cups, papers, etc. Under the dining room table is another plastic cup, Corey's old shabbas shoes and a sock. When did we become such, as my mom would say, schtunks (pronounced: sht-oo-nks)?!

+Continue with Project Alphabet. For those of you who don't remember, or don't know, I decided to read a book from each letter of the alphabet. Each letter corresponding to the first letter of the last name of the author. I am currently in the middle of my G book and have been since about April. Again, that attention span is getting the best of me. I actually switched around some of the books that I'm going to be reading. Check out the new and improved list at my website by clicking on the "ABC" link at the bottom of the page.

+Make the dean's list. I make this resolution every year and have yet to accomplish it. Last semester was a particularly bad one (because of the first trimester of my pregnancy and the baby only wanting me to sleep and puke) and it dropped my GPA below a 3.0 -- good thing I'm not going to grad school! But this semester I'm taking all mid-level courses, so I think the dean's list is definitely possible, though I'll probably just maintain my typical B average.

5 is a good number for a list... and I can't think of anything else anyway. So, here's my schedule for my final semester as an undergrad!

Monday and Thursday
1:10-2:25 Hebrew Prophets in English
2:45-4:00 Philosophical Psychology

Tuesday and Friday
9:45-11:00 Asian-American Literature
11:10-12:25 Revolutions in Modern Philosophy


You Can Only Blame Yourself

Put yourself in that person's shoes is what, I assume, most of us have been told to do before we judge someone. I find that putting yourself in another person's shoes is just another way for people to judge other people. People put themselves in the other person's shoes then proceed to explain how they would be able to do things so much better. I include myself in this vast array of people as well. The most recent example of this that comes to mind is when my brother-in-law and sister-in-law told me about their experience in Me'ah Shearim (a very, for lack of a better word, religious area in Israel). They told me that they were holding hands and all of a sudden one of the townsfolk starts hitting my brother-in-law in the arm. My sister-in-law had not idea why this guy was doing this. Turns out that they guy didn't appreciate that they were holding hands in public in his area so he did something about it. My reaction to this story was, "That's ridiculous! What's it any of that guy's business? If that was me, I would have started hitting him back though!" After I said it I thought to myself, What the hell is wrong with you?! You weren't there, why do you assume you could have/would have done anything differently?
I think that if we truly did put ourselves in other people's shoes we would probably realize that we wouldn't be doing anything that much different from what those people are already doing. When you take into account every part of the shoes that you put yourself in, it is really not as easy to do things differently as you would think. Most of the blogs I read are very judgmental toward the yeshivish community. They do this silly, they do that silly. I can't say I disagree, but when you're brought up in that type of community, how do you expect to know any different? If you're told to trust only what your rebbeim say, even if someone came up to you and explained to you that you are wrong, why would you believe them? The only person you can trust is your rabbi, why would you trust this random person?

If we're going to continue putting ourselves in other people's shoes I think we need to take a long walk in them before we can even begin to understand what it's like to be someone else.

//Brand New's The Archer's Bows Are Broken


Celebrate the Irony

Corey and I have been in Israel for the past week and a half (check out the pictures on facebook!). We got back to the states today. Though my mind is not fully functional right now, I did want to share an experience with you all.

Corey and I were dropped off by a cab about a 5 minutes walk from the rova (they weren't letting cars near sha'ar yafo at the time, for reasons I'm still unsure of). When we get out of the cab and begin our short trek, I see a man with a scraggly beard, long, scraggly hair, an odd attire and a walking stick made from a tree branch. I whisper to Corey, "Look! It's Jesus!" As we are about to pass by Jesus, he says, "Excuse me?" Corey and I look at him, "Yes?" "You don't have to look for the Messiah any longer, I am here." I grabbed Corey's hand and we continued walking. About two seconds later I said, "We just met Jesus!" We both regretted not asking for a picture with him, but there was nothing we could do about it now. We continued on our way to the rova (and subsequently the Kotel) when Corey said, "Who said Jews can't find Jesus?"

//Let's Dance to Joy Division by The Wombats


[No Lyrics. It's The 3 Weeks!]

I had a[n] [insert adjective that I cannot think of right now]moment while driving today. Corey and I are in Cleveland until next week visiting my family. The Football Hall of Fame is about an hours drive away, so I decided to take him there. Normally I am a very aggressive driver. I tailgate, I speed, I swerve. But today, I went the exact speed limit, did not tailgate even once and stayed in pretty much the same lane the whole way through. I was thinking to myself When did I become an old lady? Why am I driving like a pansy? That's when it hit me. The baby has made me a safe driver. I didn't think it could be done. I've always made fun of my mother for being a slow and cautious driver and she always said, "Just wait until you have kids." I would just roll my eyes at her, but now I know what she means. The kid isn't even out yet and I'm trying to protect it in every possible way. I've never gotten into an accident speeding, tailgating or swerving, but now I'm just not willing to take those chances because now I have someone else to look out for. I guess this is just a moment that I wanted to share with you all. Have any of you had moments like these? Even those of you without children. Was there ever something that happened that just switched something in your head and you only realized it later?


I Want To Ride My Bicycle

Haven't had regular access to a computer for a few weeks. My husband's computer had to be sent in for repairs because Windows wasn't working and a few days later my computer's battery died and refuses to recharge. In that time many rant-y things have been going on in my head.

The first thing that comes to mind is something my husband told me last night. He said that in Israel some of the rabbis have gotten together and decided that when a woman takes a regular bus she should only enter through the back doors. Now, let's imagine for a second that this isn't completely insane. The first thing that popped into my head when I heard this was back in the days before the whole Civil Liberties, Martin Luther King Jr. thing, black people had to sit at the back of the bus. The Torah doesn't require women to be treated as second class citizens. Are they going to take away women's right to vote too? (To which my husband replied, "No, because they need the religious vote." -- How convenient.) I'm no feminist, but last time I checked no rabbi was allowed to tell me where I am supposed to sit on a bus. (There may be men at the back of the bus too... should women then just hold onto the bumper?)

I feel like I had more rants to post here, but I seem to have forgotten them all. I guess I'll explain the title of this post then. They are lyrics from a Queen song called "Bicycle Race", but that has very little to do with why I chose them. Basically just those lyrics apply to me right now. For the past four months I haven't been allowed to ride a bicycle. "Why?" you ask. Excellent question! Well, I'm pregnant! Yippee! I was debating actually putting a formal announcement in my blog, but this is good news and I'd like to share it with, well, pretty much everyone I can. Oh, and I don't know if all pregnant women are forbidden from riding bikes, but I am. I'm actually one of the few pregnant women who have been told that I am not allowed to exercise. I have an issue with my thyroid so I guess it makes my pregnancy slightly higher risk. Fear not, I have an endochrynologist who is taking good care of me and trying to get my thyroid hormone levels back to normal.

On a totally different topic, I think I'm going to start e-mailing and/or facebook messaging my friends once a week. I hardly ever see my friends because 1. some live in a different state, 2. the ones that live in the same state... well, I'm too lazy... and tired to make plans. But this way, I'll actually be able to keep in contact with people on a regular basis. Let's just hope people actually answer my e-mails...

Oh, and happy July 4th!

*Minor Edit: 7/6/08*
I updated my page. I added a new mix to the Mixology section. Took out a couple of links from the elsewhere section. And completely removed the art section (I only had two stories in it and I'm 95% sure no one ever read them). Please check out the new mix though. It is my favorite mix to date (including all the mixes I made for friends in high school).


So Hot That I Melted

I'm not sure if anyone actually checks at my website regularly, but in case you don't, I've created a new mix in the "Mixology" section. I actually have several mixes floating around in my head, but because of the omer and a few other things, I neglected to actually create them and put them on my site. One such mix I already have a name for; "What I Was Listening To While You Were Singing Along to the Backstreet Boys" -- pretty much a mix of all my favorite songs from the age of 11 until 14 (the music that helped to form my musical tastes of today). I hope to also make a new random mix for the front page. I'll hopefully put up a new playlist there by the end of the week.

I had so much more to say than just updating you on the updates of my page, but none of the thoughts seem to be melding together correctly right now. I was basically going to go on a rant about how silly it is to focus on the differences between people and that that is what causes rifts in communities. Not that people actually being different is the cause, but the focusing on the difference is the cause. Eh, I pretty much said it all right there. Well, in much less detail, but I think the gist is just as effective.

// Jason Mraz's 'I'm Yours'


Nothing Rhymes With Cholent

I put my winamp on shuffle today. One song that popped up was the theme for this blog post (and its title). Whenever I hear Blue Fringe, specifically the song 'Flippin' Out' it makes me think about my year in seminary in Israel. Their first CD came out the year I was in Israel and for the first time ever, I actually liked Jewish music. Probably because other than the lyrics, there isn't really a very Jewish feel to the music... but I digress. I think that music, more than anything, brings back the best memories for me. Sure, looking at pictures makes me remember the great times I've had with friends, but when I hear a song, I get the same feeling I had as when the memory was originally happening and that makes me happy. A few examples: Any song from Simple Plan's first CD reminds me of the summer between 11th and 12th grade that two of my friends (hey Sara and Simona!) would drive around all day and night. One specific day comes to mind, but I won't bore you with the details. Any song from Travis' '12 Memories' or Coheed and Cambria's "In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3" reminds me of sitting at the back of the bus for tiyulim (seminary in Israel, obviously). My friends and would hang out, listen to music, eat pamelos. Music and memories... I love 'em.

//Flippin Out by Blue Fringe


I Guess It's Nobody's Fault Now But My Own

My thoughts have been few and far between lately. Had no real inspiration to write, but I'm awfully bored right now, so seems as good a time to write as ever. Well, first things first, today is mine and Corey's 10 month wedding anniversary. I can't believe it's already been 10 months. Been a great 10 months, I love Corey and I am so happy I never have to go through sheva brachos again -- well, until our future children get married, but then the focus won't be all on me and the Core-inator. Yeah, I mixed Corey with Terminator. I'm awesome like that.

Besides for loving Corey, I also love music. It is awesome.

I had a dream last night that Barak Obama and Sherry Palmer (the biz-nitch from '24') were married... and he was cheating on her. Seems pretty realistic to me... the marriage part, not the cheating on his wife part though. I don't hit that low.

Mayonnaise sandwiches are awesome. Put some Miracle Whip Lite on two pieces of toast and stick a piece of American cheese or two in the middle. I've been eating these sandwiches since I was about 6 and I still love them as much today as I did then. Oh, and Miracle Whip Lite is the only mayo worth eating. That is your fact for the day. Spread it.

//Phantom Planet 'Nobody's Fault'


My Lack Of Music Will Be Over Soon Enough and I'll Start Using Lyrics In My Title Again

Now, I am not a fan of any of the 3 people mentioned in this video, but this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. Talk about propaganda (wait, is that even the right word here? I don't know. It's finals week. My brain don't work so good.) Anyway, like I said, this video is ridiculous so please don't think that these are my opinions. And though this is ridiculous, it is also absolutely hilarious. Enjoy!


An Idea.

I had an idea a few months ago and decided to write it down before someone else thinks of it.

A new ad campaign to get young people to get their clothes checked for shatnez:
Shatnez is not the Shiz-nit.
Get Checked.


Save a Calf, Eat A Midget

Most of the blogs I read tend to write about serious stuff. Even when it's done in a satirical fashion, there is still an underlying seriousness. So, for anyone who just needs a laugh -- not that more than a couple of people actually read my blog anymore -- here is my favorite comic from one of the weirdest comic strips I've come across. Enjoy!

//This quote brought to you by the mind of yours truly.


I Don't Know What's Left To Say

I'm supposed to be writing a 4000 word paper for my metaphysics class right now. Instead, I have decided to write a bunch of random thoughts down in my blog.
In no particular order:
1. The sight of Barak Obama really bothers me. Maybe its because I disagree with his politics, but I think its probably something else. When I was about 12 or 13 years old the sight of Minnie Driver really bothered me. Still not sure why that is, but I have a feeling it is the same reason seeing Obama bothers me.

2. If you don't put down, mock, etc. yeshivish people in your post, you are guaranteed no more than 5 comments (unless of course, you get 3 comments and reply to each separately. Then you'll have 6. woo. hoo.)

3. I was on the phone with my mom the other day and we were talking about when my husband and I finally get our of here (aka New York). My mom said, "You're probably going to miss being around a lot of Jews though." I immediately said, "No" to which my mom replied, "Why?" "Because they're frum on the outside, not on the inside." (Hey, maybe I'll get more than 5 comments for saying that...)

4. Last night I had a dream I went to L.A. with one of my friends to interview musicians.

5. My husband and I are nearly finished with the entire series of The X-Files. We're a few episodes into the 8th season (out of 9 seasons). Just in time for the movie coming out on July 25th!

//Ah-ha's "Take On Me" -- covered by Reel Big Fish, whose version is currently my ringtone and the only song I've heard since pesach ended. Oh, how I hate you, sfira!


You're Too Funny To Be So Heavenly

Registered for Fall 2008 and my last semester as a college student! WOOHOO! As of late December 2008/early January 2009 (depending on when my grades get in) I will have a BA in philosophy. So useful! Anyway, here's my schedule for this coming fall semester:

Hebrew Prophets in English: 1:10-2:25pm
Philosophical Psychology: 2:45-4:00pm

Asian American Literature: 9:45-11:00am
Revolutions in Modern Philosophy: 11:10-12:25pm

Why am I taking an Asian American Lit class and two classes on Friday? Well, I need one last "pluralism and diversity core" which Asian American Lit satisfies. Plus, a friend of mine is taking it this semester and she said it's very easy. And I'm taking two classes on Friday because Revolutions in Modern Philosophy is a core part of my major and they only offer one section every 3rd semester. Stupid, no? So I'm stuck with class on Friday, but I don't mind since I probably won't be working after June. My boss informed me the other day that they're making budget cuts and they're probably going to have to let me go. Doesn't bother me all that much though. I didn't want to work during the summer and I would only be able to work one day a week next semester anyway.
So, to those of you in college, what are you taking next semester?

//'God' by Head Automatica


They'll Never Understand What It's Like To Be A Kid Today

I read about a dozen different blogs on a regular basis. When I have nothing to do I'll look at the other comments on my favorite blogs and go to the commentors' blogs and read those blogs. Today I just happened to come across a teenagers blog since their screen name somewhat interested me. This kid was complaining about his family during the seder. He was talking about how he was so excited for the 4 cups because he got to drink alcohol and how he wishes he could drink more. I know that not all teens are like this. When I was a teen I loved the seders with my family as much as I do now, though that alcohol thing I could definitely relate with at the time. But that's just the thing, it was at the time. I can't relate with that anymore. Drinking alcohol just doesn't have that appeal anymore. I drank only grape juice this year and after the second cup I started feeling sick to my stomach. After not having eaten since lunch, then drinking this super-sugary grape juice, my "old" stomach just can't handle it anymore. It's weird. I was a teenager less than 3 years ago and so much has changed in that time. I'm somewhat of a grown up now. I don't have the same issues as even a 19 year old has. Even a married 19 year old, I doubt I have the same issues as. I'm not trying to be an age-ist. I'm not looking down on teenagers. Just saying that I used to feel very close to other teens and now, we have almost nothing in common. When did this all change? When did I become an adult? When did I stop being a teen and stop blaming the "old" people for my problems?

//'Teenage Riot' -- The Ataris


I Control My Future

I sat down in front of the computer about four hours ago. I was planning on getting some school work out of the way. Had some summaries to write and a paper to write for philosophy of science before the semester ends. Instead, I wrote one summary, did two loads of laundry, watched Funny Games -- I give it a 7.5/10 - interesting film, but my expectations must have been too high and they weren't met -- and posted on a various forum boards. I don't really have anything on my mind, but I figured it was due time for a blog post. The title of this blog... "I control my future". No, actually, I don't. Well, in some ways I do. I choose to do good or bad, but ultimately, G-d's in charge of my future. I don't really understand why that bothers some people. With G-d taking care of your future you can kind of sit back and relax. Every little thing you do doesn't need to be over-analyzed because in the end, you're going to end up wherever G-d takes you. Some people don't like having complete control, but I, on the other hand, think it's a huge stress reliever.

//'Festival Song" - Good Charlotte - it's sfira and that song popped into my head for reasons unknown.


Can't Think of Any Lyrics, Sorry.

It's amazing. It only took one conversation with one friend to make me completely change my opinion (from my last post). Just thought I'd let all my readers know I'm in a much better place right now.


Who gives a crap what the title is? I'm pissed.

I feel like I've been given the shaft by a lot of my friends. I try to keep in contact, but if I don't contact them, I won't hear from them until, well, until the next time I contact them. I'd have to say that this pisses me off quite a bit and makes me rethink our entire friendship. Now I don't know if these memories that I'm having are real or not. Was this always how it was and I didn't notice it or because this is happening now my mind is seeing things that are not there? I just feel like I put in a lot of effort and get almost nothing in return. Although I doubt any of them actually reads this, I hope that they just happen to read this post. Maybe I should just bring it to their attention (not the post, but the feelings I'm expressing in it), but I know the answer I'd get. "Oh Jessica, you're just being silly. You know we're friends!" And then I'm made out to just be seeing things that aren't there... great.


I Couldn't Say Why

So many different things go on in my head right now. I've decided to take a break from the paper I was writing (It's about Descartes and Leibniz's philosophies of the mind-body union. Some pretty interesting stuff.) to write about the various things going on in my head.

I just deleted about 40 lines of text. I was going to write about what was important to me religiously because I've noticed that many of the Jewish bloggers I come into contact with speak in the negative about religion. Not that they're anti-religion, but it's what they don't want to do or what they don't agree with, and not what they do want to do. I wanted to know what people consider positive about religion and the positive things that they find important in their beliefs. But as I wrote I was worried that people would think I was writing specifically at or against them, and I wasn't. So I started over and that brings us to the present and to my next topic.

I receive Chabad's Daily Dose of wisdom in my inbox every morning. When I first started getting this a little over a year ago, the e-mails were interesting and thought provoking. The few lines of text enlightened me, I guess. But lately they have seemed kind of silly. I think they may have changed the author (It's based on the Rebbe's teachings, but its someone else writing out those teachings). (Oh, just for the record, I'm not Lubavitch -- just a fan.) Anyway, today's Daily Dose was especially dull dumb incoherent.

" G-d knows all before it occurs. More than that: It is His knowledge that brings all events into being.

But we still have free choice.
You claim this is illogical. I ask you: Knowledge of existence before any thought of any thing exists is logical?
When we talk about the Source of All Existence, our principles of logic no longer apply. We don't understand a thing, because there is no understanding."

I was okay with this until that last part of the last line. "[T]here is no understanding." What the hell?! Is this guy serious? What's he doing sending out the Daily Dose everyday if there is no understanding. Now, maybe I'm taking this out of context. Maybe he's saying that we can't understand how G-d can know everything, yet at the same time we have free will and in that, there is no understanding. But based on the first part of the sentence -- "We don't understand a thing" -- it makes me think I'm not taking it out of context at all. Whether you agree with the G-d knowing/free will thing, what is your take on that last sentence? Am I taking it out of context or is the author just hoping no one will understand so he won't be fired for spreading crap?

//'Gone' by Bouncing Souls -- this was one of my favorite songs growing up. Thanks to frumpunk's new header (which is a different Bouncing Souls song), it put this song back in my head and, as soon as I get a chance to download it, onto my mp3 player.


Exterminate The Whole Human Race

Let me start off by saying that philosophy of science has almost nothing to do with philosophy. That being said, yesterday, as I was sitting in my philosophy of science course my professor says something along the lines of, "Don't forget. Class participation is part of your grade. There are a lot of you in here that have spoken so little that I don't even know your names. Think about that." So I thought about it and what came into my head first was Good. I'm glad you don't know my name. That way it makes it that much harder to call on me during class. I was inspired after he said that though and wrote a blog post in my notes. Here is said blog post:

Class participation. Something I do not pay much attention to. I find it interesting that some teachers take "class participation" into account for your final grade in the class. What's the point? If I have nothing to add to the lecture - no questions, no comments - what am I supposed to say? Should I just say something faux-intelligent like so many of my classmates like to do? Or maybe I'll go with "So what's your opinion on this, Professor?" If I have nothing relevant to say, then I think its better that I keep my mouth shut. Would you rather I run my mouth and not actually pay attention to what's coming out of it? I'd like to know your opinion on that, Professor. If I am going to get a zero for lack of participation, then people who say irrelevant things should also get no credit. In fact, they should get points deducted. Not only for taking away precious class time, but also for making us all dumber for having to listen to their pseudo-philosophical drivel.

//'Astro Zombies' - The Misfits

"The Great Gatsby" - F. Scott Fitzgerald

It boggles my mind that some books are considered classics. While "The Great Gatsby" was quick reading, I found nothing redeeming about the story at all. I felt like I was having a conversation with a name-dropper. You know the type. They just talk and talk and talk about people assuming you know exactly who they're talking about because they're the coolest people ever, but you're just thinking in your head, Who the hell are they talking about and why are they telling me this asinine story? With every new character that was introduced that is how I felt. I definitely wasn't bored while I read it, but I can't help but feel that this book was a complete waste of my time.


And I Can't Tell If You're Laughing

Corey and I have been watching every episode of The X-Files in order in preparation for the new movie coming out on July 25th. I used to watch The X-Files religiously when it was on in the 90's. Back then I was obsessed with Mulder (mostly because I thought he was hot), but this time around, I'm seeing Scully in a whole new light. Though I'm not much of a swearer, Scully is bad ass. She's been kidnapped several times, been diagnosed with cancer, had people very close to her die and she always manages to keep her cool and come out stronger. She questions things, but only when it is relevant. In other words, she doesn't just question things to question things. There is an educated reason behind her questions. Also, her struggle between her faith in the sciences and her faith in Christianity is so, for lack of a bigger vocabulary word, deep. Scully is strong without being man-ish. She's just a strong woman in every sense of the word. I think I missed all of this first time around because my love for Mulder over-shadowed my love for most of the other characters and because I was junior high/high school age first time around. I'd like to think I've matured somewhat over the years.

//'Paper Wings' by Rise Against


In the Night, Night, Night, I Never Know Why

I've been blogging for a while now, so it's time for the inevitable "I'm a diseased freak" post. Okay, so I just made that up, but I think its a good topic sentence for this post...
About two months ago I went to the doctor. She took some blood. Turns out I have a messed up thyroid. The thyroid hormone is "sluggish". She put me on some medication to help it out and told me to come back in two months to make sure all is good. Tuesday was my appointment. I got back the results today. She had to up my medication a bit (which isn't that scary since she had me on the lowest possible dose). Turns out she had also checked on my anti-bodies this time around. They came back positive which, I think, means that my body created anti-bodies to make sure the medicine doesn't work. Stupid body! Also turns out that not only is my thyroid sluggish, but it can also be hyper-active and perfectly normal at times. Stupid thyroid! I can't say I'd be too heartbroken if it decided to go hyper on me for a bit... But yeah. When I found out about this two months ago, I'm not going to lie, I started crying like a baby. I don't like taking pills. They suck. And now I'm pretty much stuck on pills (and getting a blood test three times a year) for the rest of my life. Stupid blood! I'm used to it now though. Not too scared anymore. And now I get to say "I have a glandular problem" in a funny voice and really mean it, so that's a plus...

//"A Wolf Among Lilacs" - Medicated Kisses

"Middlesex" Jeffrey Eugenides

Finally finished the "E" book. 529 pages is a bit much for me, but there really was nothing in the story that could have been left out without making it incomplete. Very interesting story told in an interesting manner. I wouldn't say its a must-read, but if you're in the mood for a good story, by all means, pick this book up. I wish I had more to say on it, but there's really nothing else to say. Its a well written, interesting story.


I Want It To Feel

So apparently today is the holiday of Purim. Could have fooled me. I heard the megilah last night. Heard it again this morning. Gave some shaloch manos to people, cooked the seudah and ate it. Still, it just doesn't feel like Purim. This is mine and Corey's first holiday as a married couple without any family (other than each other). Actually, this is our first holiday (whether married or not) with less than 3 people involved. It's just us today. Feels like pretty much any other day. Feels as if we just had a nice, slightly fancier than usual, lunch together. And though this has very little, if any, correlation I can't help but feel even more hatred toward New York.

//"I Want It To Feel Like Love" by The Hint


Your Skin Makes Me Cry

I feel like a weirdo sometimes. And I like it. I've decided to watch every zombie movie and short film known to man in chronological order. I want to see how the zombies evolved over the years, take notes on consistencies and inconsistencies and eventually figure out the philosophy of the zombies. I watched number one on the list today: White Zombie. Its a 1932 talkie with Bela Lugosi. I can definitely appreciate it as the originator of the now infamous zombie sub-genre, but as a film itself, it was not very good. There were many inconsistencies in the movie and the version that I watched had terrible sound quality. Thankfully I was able to hear it well enough that I could take notes on it. There is one thing that this zombie movie has that some other zombie movies miss out on: the zombie face. Many zombie movies portray zombies as angry or emotionless, but in this movie they were portrayed as sad nomads. Or rather, their faces portrayed that image. I would watch this movie again in a heartbeat simply to see those faces.

I plan on writing reviews of all the movies I watch on my website and eventually write about the zombies themselves. And if you haven't checked out my website, please do and let me know what you think. There will be some minor changes in the next few weeks to the layout and possibly some additions (I just need to sit down and focus). But in the mean time, please let me know what you think. Constructive criticism, emphasis on constructive, is always welcome.

//Radiohead's "Creep" -- if you've never heard this song before, download it immediately. If you can't find the song anywhere, I'll e-mail it to you!


Soon Enough For You

I accomplished a goal I set for myself this year. I have learned HTML and created a website using HTML. You can view the said site here. If for whatever reason the link doesn't work, just copy and paste this url: http://philosophy.and.mixtapes.angelfire.com
I actually still have more ideas for it. I'm thinking of adding thumbnail pictures of the books in the ABC section. Right now it looks kind of blah and I think the pictures could really add something to it. And as for the (f)Art page, I don't really have much there at all. I have ideas in my head for stories, it's just hard to write them down in a coherent manner. It feels good to have accomplished a goal for the year already. And its only March! The goal I'm looking most forward to is graduating. Unfortunately, it is not possible for that to happen until December, so I'll have to be patient. I'm trying to remember if I had set any other goals for myself? I know that I had wanted to learn to knit, but I don't think that's going to happen until Corey and I are out of New York. I tried watching a video of someone starting off a knit (sorry if that's not the correct word) and I was completely lost. I need someone to actually show me in real life and, thankfully, my mom knows how to start it off, at least. I actually do have another goal, I'm just not sure that I really want to share it just yet. Maybe once I've actually accomplished it I'll be able to talk about it, but until then, I'll just keep you all in suspense.

//The Get Up Kid's "Fall Semester"


Losing the Feeling of Feeling Unique

I have an Intro to Logic test tomorrow, so what better time than now to write a new post in this here blog? So nothing is official yet, but Corey and I might be getting out of New York sooner than expected. HOORAY! If he takes a class or two during the summer he may be able to graduate this coming fall (when I do). Only issue there might be is that the summer semester ends about a day after we leave for Israel, so Corey needs to get permission from the instructor that he can take the final (if there even is a final in that class) early. Neither of us sees a reason why the instructor would say no. Corey's taken a course with this guy before, so yeah. But I've been feeling a lot less... not depressed, but I can't think of the right word, since I found out about this. It would be so wonderful to leave this G-d forsaken town 5 months earlier than expected.

In other news, I watched Evil Dead II today. Not as good as The Evil Dead, but it was mildly entertaining. As entertaining as terrible acting and a plot you've seen before, but rewritten in a worse manner can be. All that's left is Army of Darkness and I've heard from several people that its the best of the three. The Evil Dead was pretty awesome, so I have very high expectations for this one.

I have more on my mind, but I can't seem to articulate it in even a mildly intelligent way, so I will leave it for another day.

//Panic! at the Disco's Nine in the Afternoon


No Time To Think Of Lyrics -- I'm Going to be Late For Work

Corey and I went back to my home town for the long weekend. One of my best friends got married on Presidents Day. I'd have to say that was the best wedding I've been to since my own (pretentious, much?). One of the best parts of the wedding was that it wasn't in New York. Okay, that's not actually one of the best, but I needed a smooth transition into a rant on how much I hate New York. I really don't understand why people are allowed to live here. It is over-crowded. People here are mean. Aside from my friends and family (and extended family) that live here, no New Yorkers even seem to notice this. Corey and I are stuck here for only 1 year and 3 months more, then we're off to either my hometown or his. I find myself wanting more and more to move to my home town though, since most of my closest friends from high school have moved back there.I don't want to have to make new friends!


Not Asking For This Trite Vaccination

I found out yesterday that I won't be graduating this summer. Oh well, only have to wait one extra semester. Because of this I decided to drop a class (I was only taking 6 this semester because it was the only way I could have a chance to graduate during the summer, but, alas, that's not happening). Which class did I drop? Well, based on the picture that should seem fairly obvious, but I'll tell you anyway: Marx. It is my first class of the day on Monday and Thursday. I was actually enjoying the class and could have dropped one other instead (that I don't find particularly interesting... because of the teacher), but I chose this one because there was a required half hour oral presentation with a partner. That sealed the deal for me.

In other news, I downloaded The Evil Dead Trilogy. So far I have only watched part one: The Evil Dead. I'd have to say watching this movie was a very enjoyable experience. Yeah, there are many inconsistencies. Yeah, the movie is cheesy as anything. Yeah, the characters weren't built up nearly enough. But there were so many great parts that make up for it. While I was watching the movie I was writing down all the parts about it I liked and/or found to be original. Here is that list (with some minor editing to make it coherent to everybody else):
1. When Scottie goes into the cellar you expect him to jump out and scare them after about minute. He doesn't. The suspension continues building as Ash goes into the cellar to check on him. Again, we expect Scottie to jump out. But no, the suspension is built even more as Ash spends a few minutes looking around and then finally "Boo!".
2. Sheryl got raped by a tree. How do you fill out that police report?
3. Pencil. In. Ankle. AAAHHHH!!!!
4. When Scottie is killing the possessed version of Sheryl and it gets all red. It's almost beautiful. Very artistic for such a b-(or rather, c-)movie.
5. They lock up possessed Sheryl and she's mocking them the whole time. It's creepy and hilarious!
6. Possessed and laughing Linda. Epitome of creepy.
7. The light-bulb filling with blood... very cool.
8. Water mirror... whoa.

//Action Action - "Bleed"


It's Just Cheaper That Way

I finished my 'D' book, finally! Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, maybe I expected too much from you. I was bored throughout the first few and last few chapters, though the middle chapters were quite interesting. I could have done without the last chapter completely and I wish the ending of the second to last chapter were entirely different. Sorry for being so cryptic, but in case you do want to go out and read this, I don't want to ruin the less than extraordinary ending for you.

//"I Don't Wear a Coat" by Socratic


Closer Than My Peeps You Are To Me

I got a job at a local college (through the help of nepotism, of course). I'm working in the office of one of the departments. Today was my first day. I was only there for 4 hours, but OH MY G-D! I'm sure other people who have worked in offices before would think this day was easy, but I've never worked in an office before. I've been a dog walker and a kennel technician (read: I took care of puppies all day). Neither of those jobs has much, if any, paper work, phone calls, students, etc to go along with it. Here is an actual conversation I had today.
*Phone rings*
Me: ______ Department, how may I help you?
Phone: Hi, I'm looking for the ______ department, but I think I have the wrong number.
Me: Okay, hold please. *Put her on hold and ask a woman I work with* How do I transfer someone to the ______ department?"
Woman I work with: This is the ______ department.

I felt soooooo stupid! Afterward the woman I work with told me not to feel bad at all. "We all go through it." That's true, but I'm the only one going through it right now. Whatever, in a few weeks this will all be just another blog post, so I'm not stressing.... too much.

//That song by Shaggy.. what's it called again? One of the guys at work had a radio on and this was one of the many "mix radio" songs that was played.


We're Gettin' Down Til The Suns Comin' Up

I just need to take a break. I've been reading for the past 3 or 4 hours.

The semester started yesterday. Mondays are insane. I have class from 11:10 am until 8:15 pm. By the end of the night I thought my brain was going to start dripping out of my ears. As mentally exhausted as I was though, I went to the book store and bought (most of) my books... all $253 of my books (not counting the 4 I ordered online and the one that I had to buy earlier in the day from a communist bookstore for $18).

So here's how my Monday went. My first class is Marx. This class is not only my first class of the day, but there are also many other firsts associated with it. For one, its the first time I've ever had a black professor. I've gone to two different colleges, both of which are not private and this is the first time I'm having a black professor... pathetic. Also, this is the first time I've ever come in contact with a communist over the age of 23. No, not my professor, although he has a fondness for teaching Marx, he mentioned that he disagrees with Communism. That communist bookstore I wrote about earlier actually sent two representatives to our class to sell us our books. Schmitty and Travis. Schmitty looked like a working class version of Will Ferrel and Travis looked like Frohike from "The Lone Gunmen" and "The X-Files". Now, I consider myself a fairly tolerant person; you don't shove your beliefs down my throat, and I'll show you that same courtesy, but these guys start spewing their crap all over us and it was pissing me off. They start talking about how they're going to have a speech in their store about how Bush/Cheney should be kicked out of office and get the severest punishments for their war crimes... they kept trying to get us to buy their communist newspaper too. Frankly, it was quite annoying. I think they realize that they're a bit politically pushy so they made sure to make note of the fact that all the text books that they sell are tax free (or rather, they just don't charge tax on it). Last time I checked that was quite illegal, but then again, I'm not a lawyer and haven't really kept up on the tax laws.

As the day went on I came to realize that I had one professor for three different classes. She's pretty awesome so far so, needless to say, I'm happy about that. I had two other classes that seem like they're going to be okay, but I have nothing interesting to post about them.

After I bought my books I went to the train. As usual, I transfered to my third and final train and a man walked on. He was wearing tzitzis and passing out flyers. I assumed he was some crazy Chabad moshichus guy, so I took a flyer. I look down at the paper and see "Christian Brotherhood". I immediately pass it back to him. I turned down my mp3 player so I could hear what he was going to say (I thought he may be a messianic Jew and I always find their views hilariously hypocritical so I decided to take a listen). Here is what he said (not his exact words, but you know what I mean; "Communism and Marxism are bad. Homeless people are the chosen people. What's so great about your child getting the highest score on a game? Should I give him a golden rubber ducky? You should be teaching your children what the schools and religious leaders won't. They're not being taught about capitalism, thank G-d! If you don't know already, you should be worshiping Jesus. My friend Paul was not a human." Yeah, he really jumped all over the place just like that. Finally I got home and slept. It was a long day.

11:10-12:25 Marx
1:10-2:25 Foundations in Modern Philosophy
2:45-4:00 Hume
4:10-5:25 Philosophy of Science
5:35-6:50 Intro to Symbolic Logic
7:00-8:15 Metaphysics

4:10-5:25 Philosophy of Science
5:35-6:50 Intro to Symbolic Logic
7:00-8:15 Metaphysics

11:10-12:25 Marx
1:10-2:25 Foundations in Modern Philosophy
2:45-4:00 Hume

Oh, and the period and > key on my keyboard fell off so now I have to press on a mushy thing to make a period appear on the screen.

//Cobra Starship - "Guily Pleasure"


I Am Afraid Right Now

The phone scares me. I really don't like talking on it and over the past few days I've had to do so much of that. Talking to people I don't know well scares me too. I have done that over the past few days as well... still have more to do. I feel like this kind of stuff is so much easier for other people. They have something to do, so they just do it. They have to call someone to get what they need, so they just call. No nervous freak out before. No waiting until their husband comes home to give them moral support before they make the call. They just make the call. What's their secret?

My job situation is very weird right now. I applied for one job. Had an interview. It went awesome(ly?). What the job would have me do is meet up twice a week for a few hours with this woman who is mentally disabled (but very high functioning -- so high functioning that she has a husband and son). I was told that she was very pushy and very needy and that you had to immediately set rules for her, in terms of calling you. Apparently the last girl that worked with her nearly had a break down because this woman was calling her so many times a day. I thought I could handle it... that is, until I actually spoke to the woman. Without my knowledge my phone number was given to her. She called me several times. Finally I picked up. We talked for about 20 minutes. I did not have a good feeling after the phone call. The next day the woman who interviewed me called. I told her how I felt and that I was very apprehensive about working with this woman. She assured me that she would take care of things. She said that if she was calling too often that I should let her know and her case would be dropped. She asked me just to come meet her. So I did. After I met her I had an even worse feeling in my stomach. After talking with my mom and mother-in-law (who both had the same advice) I've pretty much made my decision on the matter. I'm not going to do it. Before I tell the person who interviewed me that though I have to make another call to someone else just to make sure I have a job. My sister-in-law's father is the head of a department at a college in the area and he may have an office job for me. It's not my ideal job, but it will look good on a resume and its nice and close to where I live. Also, I need to call him about taking a class at his college during the summer, but that's another story.

Moral of the story, I really hate making phone calls. Ugh... I think my heart is about to burst from beating so hard.

//Yellowcard's Afraid


When I Grow Up I'll Be Famous

I just ate a piece of buksar. Rather, I just bit the corner of a piece of buksar and then spit it out and drank a full glass of water. Currently my stomach feels quite sick. Oh, Tu B'shvat, if it weren't for the buksar I would have probably missed you altogether -- much like everyone seemed to have missed my last post.

//Title from Garbage's "When I Grow Up"


Re-arranger of the Proverbial Bookshelf

While Corey and I were in my hometown, I was rummaging through my old file cabinet. I found my old stories (well, most of them. My three favorites, I made the mistake of never printing out and just left them in my folder on my parents' computer. While I was in seminary in Israel for a year my brother had the genius idea of deleting my folder off the computer. Since then my parents have gotten a new computer, so even if there had been a way to find the deleted files, well, there no longer is for that reason now.) and my old drawings. I never realized how cool my drawings were. They were generally drawings of guys -- not too realistic looking, but not cartoon either. I think they were supposed to be the guys I would be attracted to... if they actually existed. I was also looking through my my picture albums from high school (I have at least 10) and my big box of pictures that I never got albums for -- there have to be at least 2000 pictures in that box. I never realized just how artsy I was in high school and I wasn't bad at the artsy stuff either. Actually, I'd consider a majority of my photographs to be frikkin awesome, the pictures I drew had a significant amount of style and originality and my stories, well, aside from a couple that are just cheesy teen romances, the others (most of which were deleted) were really cool. I'd read them even if I wasn't the one who had written them.

I was wondering the other day how I ended up where I am and who I am today. How did I end up married to a self-proclaimed nerd (with a heart of gold, I might add)? How did I end up majoring in philosophy when less than 2 years ago I had almost no interest in it? Looking at everything from my high school days made me realize that I'm a unique person (and the choices I make-- including a spouse and a major -- are unique as well). I don't mean that in the self-righteous, wannabe hipster, elitist kind of way. I mean that in the Stewart Smally "you're good enough, you're smart enough and gosh darn it (or is it doggonit?) people like me" kind of way. I feel really good writing this. For the first time in 22 years, I think I'm really starting to appreciate myself and see myself in a positive light. "I'm just happy."*

*Quote from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
//Title from "Die Alone" by Ingrid Michaelson
Just for the record, I wrote this blog while on the plane from my home town back to New York.


Eating Cheese on Toast

Still visiting my parents. Won't be back in Brooklyn until Wednesday night (blargs). Since it is nearly 2:30 in the morning and I am still unable to sleep (becoming much more of a trend with me these days), I have decided to write a short post. I hate to take cues from movies that "have Oscar buzz written all over them", but "The Bucket List" seems like an interesting idea for a blog post. So, here goes my top 5 things I'd like to do before I die -- I chose to leave out the basics; have kids, etc. In no particular order...
1. Learn HTML (again) -- when I was in high school I enjoyed making websites and got fairly good at HTML. Now though, I can only remember the most basic commands and would love to learn it again and make another website or two.
2. Raise children who respect everyone and everything -- I think a lot of problems stem from a lack of respect for others, for our own selves and for things that we think of as just "things".
3. Learn auto mechanics, carpentry and electric engineering (not sure if that's the right word for it, but whatever the stuff an electrician does, that's what I'm referring to). -- I love doing handyman type things and I think it would be very practical to learn all these things (so my husband and I wouldn't have to pay someone else to do it for us).
4. Either make Aliya or at least get back to Israel at least a few times -- or more specifically, get to see the Kotel in person a few more times.
The last one... well, the last one is just a bit too personal for me to write. Actually, personal is not the right word, but its just something I don't feel comfortable discussing in such a public arena.

//Title is from Kate Nash's "Merry Happy"