We're Gettin' Down Til The Suns Comin' Up

I just need to take a break. I've been reading for the past 3 or 4 hours.

The semester started yesterday. Mondays are insane. I have class from 11:10 am until 8:15 pm. By the end of the night I thought my brain was going to start dripping out of my ears. As mentally exhausted as I was though, I went to the book store and bought (most of) my books... all $253 of my books (not counting the 4 I ordered online and the one that I had to buy earlier in the day from a communist bookstore for $18).

So here's how my Monday went. My first class is Marx. This class is not only my first class of the day, but there are also many other firsts associated with it. For one, its the first time I've ever had a black professor. I've gone to two different colleges, both of which are not private and this is the first time I'm having a black professor... pathetic. Also, this is the first time I've ever come in contact with a communist over the age of 23. No, not my professor, although he has a fondness for teaching Marx, he mentioned that he disagrees with Communism. That communist bookstore I wrote about earlier actually sent two representatives to our class to sell us our books. Schmitty and Travis. Schmitty looked like a working class version of Will Ferrel and Travis looked like Frohike from "The Lone Gunmen" and "The X-Files". Now, I consider myself a fairly tolerant person; you don't shove your beliefs down my throat, and I'll show you that same courtesy, but these guys start spewing their crap all over us and it was pissing me off. They start talking about how they're going to have a speech in their store about how Bush/Cheney should be kicked out of office and get the severest punishments for their war crimes... they kept trying to get us to buy their communist newspaper too. Frankly, it was quite annoying. I think they realize that they're a bit politically pushy so they made sure to make note of the fact that all the text books that they sell are tax free (or rather, they just don't charge tax on it). Last time I checked that was quite illegal, but then again, I'm not a lawyer and haven't really kept up on the tax laws.

As the day went on I came to realize that I had one professor for three different classes. She's pretty awesome so far so, needless to say, I'm happy about that. I had two other classes that seem like they're going to be okay, but I have nothing interesting to post about them.

After I bought my books I went to the train. As usual, I transfered to my third and final train and a man walked on. He was wearing tzitzis and passing out flyers. I assumed he was some crazy Chabad moshichus guy, so I took a flyer. I look down at the paper and see "Christian Brotherhood". I immediately pass it back to him. I turned down my mp3 player so I could hear what he was going to say (I thought he may be a messianic Jew and I always find their views hilariously hypocritical so I decided to take a listen). Here is what he said (not his exact words, but you know what I mean; "Communism and Marxism are bad. Homeless people are the chosen people. What's so great about your child getting the highest score on a game? Should I give him a golden rubber ducky? You should be teaching your children what the schools and religious leaders won't. They're not being taught about capitalism, thank G-d! If you don't know already, you should be worshiping Jesus. My friend Paul was not a human." Yeah, he really jumped all over the place just like that. Finally I got home and slept. It was a long day.

11:10-12:25 Marx
1:10-2:25 Foundations in Modern Philosophy
2:45-4:00 Hume
4:10-5:25 Philosophy of Science
5:35-6:50 Intro to Symbolic Logic
7:00-8:15 Metaphysics

4:10-5:25 Philosophy of Science
5:35-6:50 Intro to Symbolic Logic
7:00-8:15 Metaphysics

11:10-12:25 Marx
1:10-2:25 Foundations in Modern Philosophy
2:45-4:00 Hume

Oh, and the period and > key on my keyboard fell off so now I have to press on a mushy thing to make a period appear on the screen.

//Cobra Starship - "Guily Pleasure"


I Am Afraid Right Now

The phone scares me. I really don't like talking on it and over the past few days I've had to do so much of that. Talking to people I don't know well scares me too. I have done that over the past few days as well... still have more to do. I feel like this kind of stuff is so much easier for other people. They have something to do, so they just do it. They have to call someone to get what they need, so they just call. No nervous freak out before. No waiting until their husband comes home to give them moral support before they make the call. They just make the call. What's their secret?

My job situation is very weird right now. I applied for one job. Had an interview. It went awesome(ly?). What the job would have me do is meet up twice a week for a few hours with this woman who is mentally disabled (but very high functioning -- so high functioning that she has a husband and son). I was told that she was very pushy and very needy and that you had to immediately set rules for her, in terms of calling you. Apparently the last girl that worked with her nearly had a break down because this woman was calling her so many times a day. I thought I could handle it... that is, until I actually spoke to the woman. Without my knowledge my phone number was given to her. She called me several times. Finally I picked up. We talked for about 20 minutes. I did not have a good feeling after the phone call. The next day the woman who interviewed me called. I told her how I felt and that I was very apprehensive about working with this woman. She assured me that she would take care of things. She said that if she was calling too often that I should let her know and her case would be dropped. She asked me just to come meet her. So I did. After I met her I had an even worse feeling in my stomach. After talking with my mom and mother-in-law (who both had the same advice) I've pretty much made my decision on the matter. I'm not going to do it. Before I tell the person who interviewed me that though I have to make another call to someone else just to make sure I have a job. My sister-in-law's father is the head of a department at a college in the area and he may have an office job for me. It's not my ideal job, but it will look good on a resume and its nice and close to where I live. Also, I need to call him about taking a class at his college during the summer, but that's another story.

Moral of the story, I really hate making phone calls. Ugh... I think my heart is about to burst from beating so hard.

//Yellowcard's Afraid


When I Grow Up I'll Be Famous

I just ate a piece of buksar. Rather, I just bit the corner of a piece of buksar and then spit it out and drank a full glass of water. Currently my stomach feels quite sick. Oh, Tu B'shvat, if it weren't for the buksar I would have probably missed you altogether -- much like everyone seemed to have missed my last post.

//Title from Garbage's "When I Grow Up"


Re-arranger of the Proverbial Bookshelf

While Corey and I were in my hometown, I was rummaging through my old file cabinet. I found my old stories (well, most of them. My three favorites, I made the mistake of never printing out and just left them in my folder on my parents' computer. While I was in seminary in Israel for a year my brother had the genius idea of deleting my folder off the computer. Since then my parents have gotten a new computer, so even if there had been a way to find the deleted files, well, there no longer is for that reason now.) and my old drawings. I never realized how cool my drawings were. They were generally drawings of guys -- not too realistic looking, but not cartoon either. I think they were supposed to be the guys I would be attracted to... if they actually existed. I was also looking through my my picture albums from high school (I have at least 10) and my big box of pictures that I never got albums for -- there have to be at least 2000 pictures in that box. I never realized just how artsy I was in high school and I wasn't bad at the artsy stuff either. Actually, I'd consider a majority of my photographs to be frikkin awesome, the pictures I drew had a significant amount of style and originality and my stories, well, aside from a couple that are just cheesy teen romances, the others (most of which were deleted) were really cool. I'd read them even if I wasn't the one who had written them.

I was wondering the other day how I ended up where I am and who I am today. How did I end up married to a self-proclaimed nerd (with a heart of gold, I might add)? How did I end up majoring in philosophy when less than 2 years ago I had almost no interest in it? Looking at everything from my high school days made me realize that I'm a unique person (and the choices I make-- including a spouse and a major -- are unique as well). I don't mean that in the self-righteous, wannabe hipster, elitist kind of way. I mean that in the Stewart Smally "you're good enough, you're smart enough and gosh darn it (or is it doggonit?) people like me" kind of way. I feel really good writing this. For the first time in 22 years, I think I'm really starting to appreciate myself and see myself in a positive light. "I'm just happy."*

*Quote from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
//Title from "Die Alone" by Ingrid Michaelson
Just for the record, I wrote this blog while on the plane from my home town back to New York.


Eating Cheese on Toast

Still visiting my parents. Won't be back in Brooklyn until Wednesday night (blargs). Since it is nearly 2:30 in the morning and I am still unable to sleep (becoming much more of a trend with me these days), I have decided to write a short post. I hate to take cues from movies that "have Oscar buzz written all over them", but "The Bucket List" seems like an interesting idea for a blog post. So, here goes my top 5 things I'd like to do before I die -- I chose to leave out the basics; have kids, etc. In no particular order...
1. Learn HTML (again) -- when I was in high school I enjoyed making websites and got fairly good at HTML. Now though, I can only remember the most basic commands and would love to learn it again and make another website or two.
2. Raise children who respect everyone and everything -- I think a lot of problems stem from a lack of respect for others, for our own selves and for things that we think of as just "things".
3. Learn auto mechanics, carpentry and electric engineering (not sure if that's the right word for it, but whatever the stuff an electrician does, that's what I'm referring to). -- I love doing handyman type things and I think it would be very practical to learn all these things (so my husband and I wouldn't have to pay someone else to do it for us).
4. Either make Aliya or at least get back to Israel at least a few times -- or more specifically, get to see the Kotel in person a few more times.
The last one... well, the last one is just a bit too personal for me to write. Actually, personal is not the right word, but its just something I don't feel comfortable discussing in such a public arena.

//Title is from Kate Nash's "Merry Happy"