Re-arranger of the Proverbial Bookshelf

While Corey and I were in my hometown, I was rummaging through my old file cabinet. I found my old stories (well, most of them. My three favorites, I made the mistake of never printing out and just left them in my folder on my parents' computer. While I was in seminary in Israel for a year my brother had the genius idea of deleting my folder off the computer. Since then my parents have gotten a new computer, so even if there had been a way to find the deleted files, well, there no longer is for that reason now.) and my old drawings. I never realized how cool my drawings were. They were generally drawings of guys -- not too realistic looking, but not cartoon either. I think they were supposed to be the guys I would be attracted to... if they actually existed. I was also looking through my my picture albums from high school (I have at least 10) and my big box of pictures that I never got albums for -- there have to be at least 2000 pictures in that box. I never realized just how artsy I was in high school and I wasn't bad at the artsy stuff either. Actually, I'd consider a majority of my photographs to be frikkin awesome, the pictures I drew had a significant amount of style and originality and my stories, well, aside from a couple that are just cheesy teen romances, the others (most of which were deleted) were really cool. I'd read them even if I wasn't the one who had written them.

I was wondering the other day how I ended up where I am and who I am today. How did I end up married to a self-proclaimed nerd (with a heart of gold, I might add)? How did I end up majoring in philosophy when less than 2 years ago I had almost no interest in it? Looking at everything from my high school days made me realize that I'm a unique person (and the choices I make-- including a spouse and a major -- are unique as well). I don't mean that in the self-righteous, wannabe hipster, elitist kind of way. I mean that in the Stewart Smally "you're good enough, you're smart enough and gosh darn it (or is it doggonit?) people like me" kind of way. I feel really good writing this. For the first time in 22 years, I think I'm really starting to appreciate myself and see myself in a positive light. "I'm just happy."*

*Quote from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
//Title from "Die Alone" by Ingrid Michaelson
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Just for the record, I wrote this blog while on the plane from my home town back to New York.